"He had been a little off from the moment he’d shown up, if only because of how readily he drank the bourbon whereas before he’d been a slow and steady drinker. Now the guy was obviously feeling that bourbon, sitting naked in my brother’s hot tub and apparently forgetting what personal space was. The alarm bells that usually went off when being hit on were trying to go off, but this was Luke, for fuck’s sake, I’d already joked plenty of times about him being painfully straight and not in the least bit curious.
At least, I hadn’t thought so, but there was no denying the fact that he was acting very...suspicious.
“Uh, Luke?” I asked, hearing how shaky my voice was.
“Hmm?” he hummed thoughtfully, still staring up and not moving away from me. He was so damn close it would have taken no effort on my part to reach out and touch his body.
“Is there something you wanna say?”
“I don’t know. I’m thinking...pondering.”
“Pondering,” I repeated, clearing my throat. “I figured that much out on my own. Anything you want to share with the rest of the class so I’m not sitting here staring at you like a weirdo?”
He smiled at that. “You are kind of a weirdo, aren’t you?”
“Yes. And thank you for pointing that out with tact and care.”
“It’s a good thing, though. I like that you’re weird. Means you’re interesting and just...you’re you, and you’re not sorry about being you.”
“That’s still up for debate,” I said, feeling a little warm despite my objection. “I didn’t think you were this much of a lightweight.”
“I’m not drunk,” he chuckled, waving his arms lazily through the water. “A little more tipsy than I planned, but I think that might be the warm water.”
“Probably,” I said.
“Being in this tub, with just the right amount of bourbon in me, has me all...thinky.”
“Thinky,” I repeated with a snort.
“Yeah, I’m trying to decide if they’re good thoughts, weird thoughts, or something in between. And wondering if I should have them in the first place.”
“Have you decided whether or not you’re going to share those thoughts? Maybe I could help you figure it out.”
“You think?”
“Even if I’m useless, sometimes just saying things out loud can make it easier to figure it out yourself.”
“I was thinking,” he said quickly and then slowed down. Apparently, even with the warm haze of alcohol coiling through his thoughts, he was still conscious of what he did or didn’t say. “About that morning.”

“That morning?” I wondered and then grunted. “Oh. That morning.”
“Yeah.”
“I thought we were past that,” I said, trying to conceal my discomfort at the thought that it was still on his mind.
“Me too,” he said, bobbing his head gently like a metronome. “And I meant it...at the time.”
That wasn’t a good sign, but I swallowed back my nervousness. “Do we need to, uh, settle things?”
For some reason, that made him chuckle. “Now there’s the real question. I’m not sure how to answer that.”
Confusion rippled through me as I watched his features return to their thoughtful mien. “I’m gonna be honest here, Luke. I feel like we’re having two different conversations. The one I think we’re having and the one you’re being mysterious about revealing.”
“I suppose I could cut out the mystery,” he said with another chuckle.
I waited a few moments before frowning. “I also think you might be an ass who’s taking his sweet time just to drive me crazy with curiosity.”
Another chuckle, but this time, he brought his hands down beneath the water's surface to rest on my knees. “Sorry, I’m still just kinda...floating in my thoughts.”
“And in reality,” I pointed out, feeling my body stir to life at his touch. It wasn’t a sexual touch since it was just my damn knees, but the sheer intimacy of it, his closeness, and his nakedness were all my body could focus on. I seriously hoped whatever was on his mind didn’t require too many brain cells, or I would be at a handicap.
“I don’t want to cause trouble,” he said, his lofty tone disappearing as a frown creased his brow. “For either of us, but especially you.”
“Didn’t you just get done lecturing me about keeping things to myself when opening up could let you help me? That applies here.”
“This is a little different.”
“Which I’ll never be able to argue for or against until you tell me what’s going on. So tell me what’s on your mind after the morning when I unconsciously molested you.”
That broke the serious look off his face. “Not how I would have described it, but that’s not important.”
“Fine,” I said with a huff. “Then what is important?”
He cocked his head. “Do you still think about it?”
I couldn’t tell if this was related to whatever was plaguing him or if he was stalling for time. Either way, I had a feeling I wouldn’t get out of this question without a fight. “I have, yeah.”
“Is that just you cringing at the thought or—”
“Or?”
“You know.”
“Yeah, you’re just going to have to be direct with me.”
“You know what I’m asking.”
“Yeah, but if I’m going to have to answer the uncomfortable and slightly embarrassing question honestly and directly, then you’ve got to ask it honestly and directly.”
“Touché,” he snorted and took a deep breath. “I should be direct anyway. It’s not like I haven’t usually tried to be direct about this kind of thing.”
My brow rose. “Cue my curiosity piquing again.”
“Is it just embarrassment you feel, or does the memory turn you on too?”
I had asked him to be direct about it, so I couldn’t complain even as I felt my cheeks warm. Of course, I had also stated that if he asked directly, I would answer the same way, so I had helped him neatly trap me.
“Would it bother you if I said yes?” I wondered, unable to stop myself from asking the real question in my mind.
He narrowed his eyes but was smiling. “Answer the question with an answer, not another question.”
Shit. “Uh, I would have to call myself a liar if I said the memory was all bad. Not like I’m creeping on you, but you are good-looking, and that was...is a very impressive dick. I’d have to have been drugged and brain-dead not to notice.”
“Now there’s a roundabout way of saying you like my dick.”
“I don’t know about roundabout. The last time we talked about this, I told you it turned me on and that it backtracked some of the mental work I had to do not to see you like that.”
“Any success?”
“Okay, this conversation is getting weirder by the minute, but uh, not really?”
“Does that mean you want to sleep with me?”
It was harder than I wanted to admit not to choke on my spit in surprise. “I-I’m not actively trying to sleep with you.”
He chuckled, and I had a moment to wonder at the ability of alcohol to emphasize parts of a person’s personality. “That’s not quite what I asked, but my questions make you nervous.”
“Nervous and bordering on freaking out,” I told him with a snort. “Is there a point to this you can get to before I die of embarrassment? I know no one ever has, but I think I might be the first case in history if this continues.”
Something in his eyes shifted. At first, I thought it was wariness and hesitation, but something else happened to wipe it from his face. I didn’t know what he thought, but it was replaced by the look I imagined a nervous person would have before they flung themselves out of an airplane for their first-ever skydive. I had no time to do anything but register that before he reached out, taking hold of my wrist.
“You said to be direct,” he said, pulling my hand toward him.
My heart lurched dangerously in my chest when he pulled my hand downward. If I was shocked at what he was doing, then there wasn’t a word strong enough when he brought my hand to his groin without a stutter or hesitation where I found my next surprise.
He was as stiff as he’d been on that fateful morning."